When we first met, I was made aware of the abuse she suffered at the hands of her step mother, I kept her safely away from us so she could  no longer inflict pain or harm on the woman I thought I was going to be with for the rest of my life. I felt that over time she could heal all that had been done to her and live a happy productive life. I used to be one of those 'knight in shining armor" types. 

I begged her on so many occasions to seek help, but she refused, I would regret this much later (about 6 years later).

 After our second son was born he had ALOT of medical problems most of them inherited from me, so on top of the stress of my job, I had a realization that I was going to watch everything I went through as a child happen to my very own son.

My then wife would stay with our son as much as possible I took my oldest son to work with me, then I'd drive us home, we'd pick her up and go visit my other son in the hospital.  stay there through the night and leave early in the morning with enough time for me  to get back to work, I did this for  a total of 3 weeks while  he was in the  hospital.

So stress finally caught up to me, I had a heart attack at work and was taken by ambulance, Doctors advised me to quit the line of work I was in, which then soon comes FINANCIAL TROUBLE, we couldn't afford to live in our nice 3 bedroom apartment and had to move.  Still the stress piled on.

When we moved to Melbourne, she be came friends with one of my webhost clients who I was building an online shopping mall for, trouble is this woman had NO intention of paying me for it, so she'd drag things out not make time for something that could have been done in weeks.  My then wife hadn't worked since the birth of our first child and wanted to help with the finances, so I paired her up with this woman (later turned out to be a HUGE mistake). 

She began spending time  over there supposedly working during this woman's "productive" time, I can relate, I'm a night owl it's 3AM as a matter of fact and here I sit at my friend's house typing this out.  But then she starts spending days, weeks away from us, calling only when she needs something, and when I call her there or message  her there, she didn't hesitate to let me know I was disturbing her "work". I stress that because the woman she was 'working' for does not pay her but sends her home now and again with furniture, jewelry, when clearly our house needed money to take care of it's responsibilities.  But I later find out this woman, her daughter, son-in-law all found out I had a lawsuit against a bank which would most likely bring us into money and these people did everything they could to attach themselves in order to get that money.  I know this sounds 'paranoid' but it's well founded, the woman's neighbor told me all about the past where they had ruined other  lives in order to get money from people by any means possible.

Then on my oldest son's 7th birthday they all come over, not to celebrate, but to more or less take turns bashing me and treating me like a piece of shit. and the son-in-law...who by the way was still married to HIS wife, verbally threatens me, makes intimidating gestures, and I know what you're thinking...why not call the police...I'll tell you why...because it would be my word against the  lynch mob at my home!

He tells me how I should be treating my wife, all the while he's carrying on an extra-marital affair with MY wife, soon his wife divorced him because of that and more. He cheats on my wife with some woman he met at his new job, but he assured her  that it wouldn't happen again...right?!

So after ruining my sons party they all trot themselves downstairs and once again it's just me and my kids to fend for ourselves.  So I think...ok...this all will blow over when she sees what he's all about right...WRONG!

In June of 2006 she filed a domestic violence restraining order against me she made false claims of domestic violence to cover for her adultery, telling the courts that I physically, sexually, financially and emotionally abused her for (7) years....yet she was married to me had 3 children with me and said nothing about any of this till I became disabled, unable to work and provide her the lifestyle she had when we first met.

She didn't just stop there, the same day she was granted the permanent restraining order, which removed me from my home and took my children from me, she violated me on it by calling the police and stating I had just threatened to kill her (which I never have, but I have told her MANY times she should just LEAVE, GO and stop hurting me and the kids. Also that I had tried to poison her, despite the fact "I" was the one who ended up in the emergency room on one occaision with suspicions of being poisoned by HER with household chemicals.

You can imagine my fears when the police showed up at my friends house (which was the only place I had to stay after living on the streets before the final hearing) I was told they had specific instructions from her that I was to be arrested, and arrested I was.  The police stated that she said I had threatened to kill her and she had her boyfriend and that woman as witnesses (how nice!).

Now since I had just got done paying all our monthly bills, I was flat broke, save for $8 in my pocket, so I couldn't afford to bail myself out, I was also so emotionally shattered by this experience (never having been in trouble with the law before, in fact I come from a law enforcement family).

I couldn't remember anyone's phone number to call and because of my emotional status I was baker acted put on suicide watch with all of Brevard County's other nut-jobs!

I was stripped of my clothes watched every single second not allowed to do anything, I remained there for 3 weeks before they deemed it safe to move me to medical part of the jail, now did I mention I have a heart condition?...Ohh this was just GREAT for that, and I didn't get meds that kept my heart rate normal, but instead got to deal with my arrythmias un-medicated, compiled with the  stress of being locked up and dealing with the aggressive mentally ill inmates.

30 days go by and I am released,  they had charged me with nothing...thanks A LOT Brevard County!! Now I have to fight to save from being evicted from my apartment because my rent and every other bill is now way past due.

Well the jail didn't tell me I had a court date the next day, but I knew the night they released me I had one, so I hopped online and checked...YUP I had one, and had I taken the word of those lying S.O.B.'s at the jail the courts would have issued an FTA (failure to Appear) which is an arresstable offense, so the State and the judge were surprised to see me, now sitting there I'm thinking SHIT I'm going back to jail because she's alleged something else, my friend was telling me...dude if  she  had, they wouldn't have let you go last night.

Well after the State did a no-file, that was that...I think...is it finally over?.....Not quite!!

I get out of jail to find my van's tires slashed to pieces and later that night find out someone has loosened my front driver's side wheel which flew off and caused my van to wreck out.  I tell myself, don't worry you're still alive, I make a police report about it that night, what do they do?...NOTHING!

I think to myself that's the end of the torment from her, but not quite yet, She flatly refused (through her friend) to let me see my children as ordered by the courts for visitation, so me being absolutely DONE with her bullshit, marched right down the court house and filed a motion of contempt against her over the visitation.  Now...the judge that heard this complaint was not the same judge who granted her restraining order, and he told her "Mrs. so-and-so, you have 48 hours to arrange for him to see his children or I am issuing an order for your arrest, you will be jailed for 60 days for contempt, am I understood?"

I have to tell you that's the best I'd felt in a long time dealing with all this mess, but it was short lived, next visitation time, same shit different excuse, this time it was our one son was back in the  hospital, funny I was never told and she and I could communicate by phone about the kids (the only thing that judge ever did right) and I protested and stated to the judge, "I do NOT want a phone call to hear my son's DEAD and I didn't have the chance to be at his side", I would NOT tolerate it, the judge agreed and told her  I am to be informed when any of the kids are sick.

She made numerous attempts to get the courts to keep my from our 3 children including a motion to have my visitations revoked as  well as telling the courts that I physically abused my youngest son, the same one we used to spend all our time with in the hospital who suffers from life threatening illness, so severe that he was admitted into the make a wish foundation (something that breaks my heart to this day, because many of the illnesses he suffers from were passed on from me genetically).

Well then question came of what the meaning of 'regular visitation' is, as she skipped out on more of them, so again contempt motion filed I asked the judge in a motion to specify the frequency, duration and specific times for  the visits which he spelled out down to the HOUR for me.

Now as a result of these things I suffer panic attacks anytime I see the police, do you know what that's like, it almost makes you believe you  MUST be guilty!

 I thought everything would calm down with her after the divorce, OH GOD was I wrong, one day the sheriffs came and knocked on my door, telling me they needed to clear some things up before I went that weekend to visit my children, I should have known something was in the works with her, since NOBODY picked up her phone for weeks prior to this where i would normally talk to my children every night to stay in their lives and let them know daddy still loves them and misses them very much.

So figuring they had nothing to charge me with, I agreed to accompany them to their office.

I spent 6 hours at the Pinellas County Sheriff's office being interrogated about alleged acts against my daughter, and feeding things to all my kids that made them sick, basically again GUILTY until proven innocent.  The allegations became clearer and clearer as they went through their questions for me, after about 2 hours, my nerves were shot, I was tired, hungry and beginning to get really pissed off, so I asked for a lie detector exam, which is now administered in the form of a Voice Stress Analysis (VSA-II) I'm familiar with that technology having worked in computer information security for many years.  I was innocent of what they were alleging, so I felt reasonably secure that the results would help me more than anything else. 

Turns out, police detectives haven't changed much, they're allowed to LIE to get a confession and LIE they did, from the VSA  tech who wanted me to offer up something to explain why I failed (yes he said I failed on the control questions), the room I was in was prepared to induce certain responses (kids toys, my daughter's picture brought in to me which strangely had a MySpace.com URL printed at the bottom of it.  

My ex-wife claimed I had exposed myself to my daughter (or at least it's what the well trained sheriff's detectives said to me and that I touched her inappropriately absolutely sickening me as to the fact she'd dare accuse me of this now, just to keep me from seeing my children.

I could not believe what I was hearing, but in the end of this interrogation, 6 hours later I was taken back to my house (well my friends house, as I can no longer afford to support myself after all that's happened). later Child Protective Services shows up and had already interviewed my roommate's minor children at school about ME and my computer (seems my ex-wife also delighted in telling the nice detectives I had PORNOGRAPHY on my computer) but that was easily  explained, I host all kinds of websites on my server auction sites, garage sales, work at home, business and yes...adult sites, all of them perfectly legal but imagine if they'd have confiscated my server...I know how those forensic techs are it would have been weeks, months before I'd ever have everything back, and by then I'd be surely sued by each site owner who would have been down during that whole investigation, only to  show it was unfounded.

I later communicated with the Detective in charge of the investigation down in Palm bay, Fl who stated he had no reason to continue and would write this report up as unfounded.  That investigation took place on September 27 2007 and it's now November 6, 2007 and I still have been unable to call or visit with any of my children. I can just imagine what they must think, or worse what they're being told.

It's December now, despite the investigation being concluded (unfounded) I have nothing to show that is the case other than emails from the detective who probably hates my guts by now because of my persistent mailings to him.  My  goal was to get PROOF that her  allegations were false, so I could go to court and re-instate visitation and see my 3 children who I've missed soo much.  I didn't have any luck with that as of yet, so  I bought some walmart gift cards and I'm going to send them certified mail with return receipt. 

Then at least I know that my kids will have something from me for Christmas time.  I'm planning on starting off the  new year with a present to the  state of Florida, a lawsuit because their criminal negligence has caused the separation from me and my children (the  very thing she accused me of in her initial Injunction and yet she's been the one  all along doing everything and anything to keep my children from seeing me.

I'm hopeful of what the new year will bring, it's about time  for something good to happen, I've had enough sadness and heartache to last me my lifetime.  

As a result of the HELL I have been put through, the loss of my children, I can no longer watch a movie that has family-oriented emotionally charged issues such as kidnappings, abuse or such things without becoming overly emotional seeing them, even though it's a MOVIE...it stirs up fresh memories of the emotional pain I felt when I went through all this. When I first got out of jail, I was with a friend at wal-mart, I saw a family taking their small children inside in a shopping cart and right there in the parking lot broke down and cried for no apparent reason, well I knew the reason, this sick, selfish woman had forever taken my dream of the happy family away from me.

Am I ever going to get over this to where it doesn't cripple me emotionally? The hardest part is that SHE continues her happy little life, with my children and I am outcast. I cannot also express any of my own personal feelings to her about this (courtesy DV restraining order) or face going back to jail for 'upsetting her'.

Legally I can't fight this right now, until I have money to hire a lawyer who can undo all the legal problems she's caused me. But if a lawyer happens to read this and feels that he/she may want to reach out and help me, I would be grateful beyond words

She seems to think I can just pickup and move on, meet someone else and be happy, that is no longer a possibility, I now distrust everyone to the point that a meaningful, close relationship is impossible for me to even think of, after all when the one you loved turns on you, how can you have faith in those kinds of feelings for anyone  ever again?

I've done a lot of research on PAS, false domestic violence issues and put it in this website with links to other helpful sites so that if anything, maybe that work will help someone in my same situation get themselves out of trouble before it gets as deep as it has for me, which at this point seems like I am in a DEEP hole with no chance of ever getting out.

It's changed me from the loving, trusting person I used to be, into someone who constantly analyzes what people's TRUE intentions are, complete with a total lack of trust in anyone regarding anything and a paranoid feeling that SHE is plotting something else against me that has not yet surfaced, so each day I live on the edge (pins & needles feeling) that at any moment my world is once again going to cave in on me as a result of something else she's said/done.


This is NOT who I am happy being, but what other choice do I have? I never ever want to give anyone a chance to do this to me again, so in that...I can never trust or get close to anyone ever again.

I read a courthouse forum which basically agrees with my thoughts that J. Preston Silvernail should never be sitting as a  Family Court Judge, read it for yourself. And here I thought I was alone in my feelings towards this judge, simply because of how he handled the case against me.